I don't wanna grow up....

....it's too hard!!!

No one can make my decisions for me, whether it be what I wear, eat or what house to buy!  No one is responsible FOR my decisions but me....so therefore I have to really think about what I say and do.

No more, crying and someone coming and fixing the problem or removing me from what scares me...when I grew up, I had to face those things head on and "deal with them!"  With growing up came a lot of fun things like; cars, houses, husband, kids, adult friends, etc...  But along with those things came a lot of not so fun things as well, like; repair bills, electric bills, clothes to wash, sickness, death, fights, etc.

The only true "relief" I know of, is my relationship with God and my trust in Him.  Trust is such a hard thing to cultivate.  It is not something that is just born, bought or demanded.  It is earned, cultivated and given.  But once you allow yourself to become vulnerable enough to trust God, there is such peace and security that nothing else can replace.  Because if you truly trust Him and His decisions in your life, then, even if the situation scares you to death, you still have the security that He knows the way I take and has my best interest at heart, at all times. 

So, in those times that I don't know where or why...I still trust that "He's got it!" and that's all I need to know!

"Still I will trust you-  Still I will follow

Still I will listen- To your every calling

Though the storm rages high- and I cant find my way

Still I will trust you, Lord!"

Momma's Apple Cake....

This recipe was passed down to me from my mother, who got it from her mother, who got it from an old family friend, Marg Whitsitt!  My grandfather used to work for Marg & her husband Garald in an upholstery shop when my mother was small.  This recipe is SUPER yummy, moist & sweet!  Hope you enjoy!


* 4 cups of diced apples (peeled)
* 2 cups of white sugar
              -combine and let sit for approx. 20 minutes (until sugar melts & makes a syrup)



Preheat oven to 350 degrees

*2 eggs beaten well
*2 cups of all purpose flour
*3 tsp cinnamon
*2 tsp of soda
*1 tsp. salt
*1 cup of nuts (pecans or walnuts) optional



Mix with apple mixture and pour into a greased 9x13 pan

 



 Bake for 30-40 minutes (until center is firm)

While baking cook the topping:

* 4tbp flour
*1 cup of white sugar
*1 cup of brown sugar
*2 cups of water
            -boil until mixture thickens and turns clear
Add:
*1/2 stick of butter
* 2 tsp of vanilla






*Stir well....  When cake is finished baking- use a knife or fork and make holes in the cake



 *pour topping over top of cake and cover well

SO YUMMY!!!!!

Do we ever outgrow it?

That feeling of security that having Mommy & Daddy close by brings,  Do we ever get too old to feel it?

My parents have come to visit from Kentucky.  They arrived at 3am this morning and I felt myself relax when they walked in the door, so much so, I turned my alarm off in my sleep and Preston was late for school *eek*  Oh well...was some peaceful sleep!

Since they have arrived we have drank 2 pots of coffee, talked in depth about some of the issues/decisions that Steve and I are facing regarding the selling of our home, they have picked Preston up from school and my Dad has even had my tire fixed on my car....lol 

I cant begin to explain how it feels to be able to look at their faces while discussing and sharing some of our hardest trials in our life and see their calm assurance, support & even respect for the way we are handling things.  It brings such peace to me..... I am thankful!!!

Mom and Dad, I love you!!!!!!

German Chocolate Cookies....

*  German Chocolate Cake mix (dry)

* 2 eggs

* 1/2 cup of oil

*1/2 cup chopped pecans

*1/2 cup chocolate chips

*1/2 cup sweetened coconut flakes

*small can of condensed cream milk (to drizzle on top)

Preheat Oven to 350*

Mix ingredients together (excluding the condensed cream milk) - drop by tablespoon full onto a greased cookies sheet-  Bake for 12 minutes and place on wire rack to cool- drizzle with condensed cream milk- Taste best while hot!!!

My journey so far....



YEAH.... I am blogging!  I have read so many other people's blogs and enjoy them so much but have never ventured out myself.  I felt I needed to find a place to share my feelings, receipes, ideas and rants- Facebook doesnt let me type enough in my status box-lol

Since this is a new project for me, please be patient with me while I find the "look" I want and the design I love....It may change several times a day until I'm content.  According to my husband that may never happen...*sigh*

Just to bring you current, here is a little about me and where I am right now.  As, I have stated in my "about me" post,  I am 32 and somedays I feel every minute of it- then somedays I forget I am in my 30's with 2 children and not a footloose teenager again.  I met my husband during one of my many summer visits to my Aunt & Uncles home here in Southeast Texas, I lived in Central Kentucky where my father pastored.  He was just starting to attend their church and I thought he was pretty handsome....well the rest in history...;)  We married in October 2002 and rented a small, 900 sq ft, 2bdr -1 bth house for the first 1.5 years of our marriage. 

This was us while dating in 2002

This was us in May 2011 

January after our first anniversary we discovered we were expecting our first baby- YEAH SO EXCITED!  My parents where coming in for a visit and it was perfect timing to make the announcement.  I worked at a Law Firm at the time and 1 day, about a week after learning our exciting news, I realized, I was miscarrying.  This was devestating to Steve and I and we leaned very heavily on our friends and family to get through this time of disappointment.  But, God was good to us and on Fathers Day (June) of that same year, 2004, we learned we were expecting again!  In August of 2004 we purchased our dream home and watched God start putting the pieces to our puzzle together so wonderfully!

 Preston was born in February 2005 and I just couldnt go back to work...;)  He had us totally tied in knots and still does!! 



This is my "Preston Jerame Cole...."

In September 2007 we made the grand announcement we were expecting again and this time it was a baby girl!  I had a picture perfect pregnancy and we were all prepared to bring home a healthy baby girl, when I woke up one morning at 38 weeks and realized something was wrong.  I wasnt feeling her move!  After a call to the Dr's office and a trip to the hospital we were told there was no heartbeat and for a few months it felt like maybe there wasnt a heartbeat for any of us....Ellison Claire was born on June 3, 2008 and was picture perfect!!  The Dr's tell us there was a knot in her umbilical cord and it was just a 1/2,000 chance that it happens.  Once again, our world was rocking and we leaned on our friends and family to get us through.  During this whole process we QUICKLY realized, we still had an amazing 3 year old who needed us to keep his world normal, so Mommy & Daddy fell apart in private and Preston was told "Baby Ellison decided she just wanted to be with Jesus and she is so very happy!"  I have literally felt Jesus carry us during this loss....there are only 1 set of footprints in the sand during those weeks!!

As soon as Steve and I heard the news we knew we where going to have another baby as soon as possible!  There was a hollow place in our hearts that only a baby could fill!  So 8 weeks later, we were pregnant with another baby!  This time we decided not to find out the gender of the baby!  Had to keep an element of excitment to this "18 month long pregnancy" lol  I told people I felt like an elephant carrying a baby so long!  BUT....in April of 2009 we were blessed with a gorgeous, healthy & screaming baby boy!!  Grayson Alexander came into this world fast & furious, the Dr didnt even make it in time to deliver him, and he hasn't slowed down since...lol  Amazes me how God knows exactly what we need, when we need it!!  He has brought some much joy & excitement into our family!!! 

This is my "little monkey" (old picture but my favorite)

Now, our lives are filled with the fussing and fighting of 2 boy, school for our 1st grader, church activities and responsibilities, trying to sell our home and digging to know where to from here!  Since the first of this year we have felt God pull in the reins on us and we are standing absolutely still!  We know it's a preparing time for the next phase/stage in our lives but it doesnt make it any more enjoyable!  I have a gut feeling it's gonna be big though when it happens!  Maybe that's why I started this blog....

Let's start this journey..........